I'm Not Going To Hurt Anymore
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: Reborn had always known of Lambo's regrettably low self-esteem.  So why did he take it so far?  RL 1827


"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP ME AROUND IF ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS HURT ME?"

Their argument came to a sudden and uncertain end. No, not their argument – an argument required two people with opposing opinions to verbally fight each other over who was right.

Reborn never argued; he either beat the shit out of whoever the arguer was or killed them. It was only Lambo who argued, who started raising his voice and began throwing everything within hand's reach at the damnable mercenary.

There had been many such arguments – yet none of them had ever before been like this.

The rim of Reborn's fedora hid his eyes, only his severe frown visible. Behind him the wall was destroyed and everything that had been a part of it annihilated.

Lambo was crying, the tears staining his eyes and cheeks red. His slim frame was shaking from pain, rage, and crowning despair. Nothing behind him was damaged – only he was. There was a diagonal cut from his jaw to the corner of his lips, a slice ranging from his third rib to his sixth on the right side, fresh bruises on both wrists and his throat, as well as broken finger.

The teen sank to the floor, sobbing. "I'm tired, Reborn… Goodness, I'm tired… This was fun when I was a child, but I don't know if I can take this anymore…"

It was too much to have to deal with. Reborn constantly berated his self-esteem that was much lower than anyone would have guessed to begin with; he was always abusing Lambo, most of the time without a reason; yet that wasn't so bad compared to everything else. That he had been used to for over 11 years.

No, what hurt the most was that Reborn had claimed him as a lover and yet he _still_ carried other women on his arms like trophies.

And he never had any problem with Lambo catching him in the act with the faceless bimbos. Sometimes, it was in Lambo's own apartment. There were times when he would go to his favorite diner or quiet spot and Reborn would be there on a date.

At first, of course he had been suspicious that his long-time enemy was trying to make a fool of him. However, as their relationship had progressed, he had shoved the old damnations aside. But then it _kept_ happening.

The suspicions had arisen new until he knew for a fact that he hadn't been lying to himself just to incriminate the man.

Reborn did purposefully go to his favorite places with his dates just so Lambo could watch him be kind and gentle to someone not him. Reborn did purposefully let himself be caught with said dates.

Why? _Because it amused Reborn to watch him be hurt by nothing but his actions with others._

Not three minutes ago, those were Reborn's honest words.

Lambo folded his body into the ground, his forehead to the ceramic tiles as his shoulders shook senselessly. "Why? Why, why, why, why?"

The teen knew that everyone considered him a coward; the thing was though is that they didn't know the half of it.

He was a coward because of his pitifully low self-esteem that Reborn oh-so enjoyed mocking. Lambo couldn't stand being yelled at, being insulted, being beaten, being hurt, being used, or even being seen doing something not popularly accepted because he couldn't take rejection.

Reborn was going to be the death of him – just for that reason.

"Goodness, why?"

The hitman was staring down at his fallen form, no sign of amusement visible. "Because you let me."

Lambo shook harder. His cries died down to whimpers and whines. He didn't want to give Reborn the satisfaction of knowing that he _had_ let him.

He was such an easy target for bullies. He had always been. He had tried to hold onto I-Pin like a shield to protect himself, but she wasn't there and neither was anyone else of the Vongola family.

"Get up, cow." The former arcobaleno finally snapped. "You'll damage the floor with your snot."

Something broke. Not aloud, not visibly – and yet it was known by both of them that something had just… shattered.

Lambo got to his feet, not a sound escaping him. "I'm sorry, Reborn." His voice was monotone. "I didn't mean to ruin my kitchen floor." His fall of sable black locks hid his gaze. "If you would leave, I'll clean this mess up."

A majority of said mess had been created by Reborn throwing most of his attacks back at him.

Reborn stood there, his eyes still hidden. "… I'm not going to apologize."

"What do you have to apologize for? It's not possible for you to do anything wrong." The teen's voice was one toneless hum of meaningless noise. "Please leave. I have things I need to do."

"… You're pathetic."

Reborn left with those words echoing in their minds.

Hours after the mercenary had left, Lambo had yet to move. "… I know."

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

'_thunk'_

'_thunk'_

'_thunk'_

'_thunk'_

'_thunk'_

"Tsunayoshi." Hibari growled. "Stop beating your head off the desk." The usually added 'or I'll bite you to death' went unsaid.

The Don didn't listen.

'_thunk'_

'_thunk'_

'_thunk'_

Hibari grabbed him by his thick brown locks and twisted his head up so dull caramel met irritated slate blue. "Stop. Now."

At first, there was no reaction.

Slowly, caramel eyes began to shimmer.

Lastly, Tsuna began to cry.

"I should have seen this coming." His voice was hoarse, hardly a whisper – just a shadow of a sound. "I should never have let this happen! There were signs everywhere, why wasn't I paying attention…?" His gaze saw right through Hibari who stood in front of him into his own past. "I could have stopped him – I could have _saved_ him – !"

His head connected with the ground, aided there by Hibari's tonfa. "You will stop blaming yourself for something another did."

"This wasn't just any other person!" The Don curled up where he was, hiding his face into the carpet. "This was Lambo! I should have known… I should have known!"

"You're not a mind reader."

"He trusted me with _everything_!"

Hibari's foot connected with his torso, breaking a number of ribs on contact. Tsuna wheezed and then coughed, blood soaking into the floor.

"I am not going to stay here and comfort you. Those who commit suicide are weak, Tsunayoshi. If someone has no wish to live, than there is no reason to mourn their passing."

"… You're… wrong. You're more wrong now than ever before." Tsuna somehow managed to gasp around his agonizing pain and agony. "If I had addressed him about it… If I had asked a few more questions, spent a little more time with him…"

"No one told you that he was going to kill himself. There is no way to prepare yourself for something you never expect to happen."

The door behind them creaked open.

In sauntered Tsuna's former tutor and now advisor. "No-good Tsuna, what are you doing on the floor?"

Hibari tilted his head towards the man, eyes narrowing challengingly. "Have you heard? The cow-herbivore decided to take the cowardly way out last night." Something close to pleasure and yet just as close to suspicion boiled in his expression as Reborn went temporarily very still, his expression going poker-face blank in such a way that Hibari had learned meant that the former baby was startled. "He left a note."

Said note had blood on it – both from Lambo's suicide and from where Tsuna had been endlessly beating his skull into the desk.

In Lambo's scrawny cursive, with a shiver to every loop and every letter written with a familiar red fluid that wasn't ink or lead, were two little words:

_I'm sorry._

"How is it that you're the last one to hear of this?" Hibari was now glaring at the older man, an expression not regularly given from him to Reborn.

The air around the cloud guardian said tat he knew Reborn held a connection to this catastrophe and therefore was indirectly guilty of making his lover break down.

Tsuna had managed to gain some control over himself, enough that he was sitting up and trying to look up at his ex-tutor though he failed miserably.

"That's none of your business, Hibari." Reborn stated in a clear, authoritative voice.

"I think it is."

"It isn't."

"What are you hiding, baby?" Hibari had actually dropped the nickname when Reborn had regained his adult body, but now he used it as an insult.

"Hibari. Stop. Pressing." Reborn turned his back on the two. "I have to care of something."

"Of course you do." Hibari snarled at his retreating form.

"Hibari…" Tsuna continued to shake. "… Please…" 'Please' could have referred to anything in that moment.

_Please_ stop taunting Reborn.

_Please_ stop being so cold.

_Please_ stop the pain you caused me.

_Please_ come back to me.

_Please_ comfort me.

_Please tell me everything is going to be okay._

The skylark turned back to his uncertain lover. With ease, he lifted the Don high into his arms. "We're going now."

Tsuna said nothing.

He was confused and he was in pain and he wasn't sure what to do next. Whenever someone else had hurt his friends, he had either been quick to retaliate or just as quick to save those closest to him. However, there was no culprit in this crime for him to face and the one harmed by this crime was dead. For the first time in a very long time there was nothing he could do and no one else but himself to be angry at. His insides were twisting with confusion, his thoughts were in disarray, and only Hibari's heat was able to regulate his own body temperature.

His body chemistry entirely was messed up, his brain caught on the fact that _Lambo was dead_.

He suddenly began to laugh, hysteria evident; Hibari looked down at him warily, but there really wasn't anything he could say through the bouts of sobs and guffaws that engulfed him.

The irony of the situation made him want to kill someone.

In the future where Byakuran had ruled, Lambo had been the only survivor of the Vongola family. Now that Byakuran was defeated, Lambo was the only victim.

Wasn't that just terrible?

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Reborn pulverized Lambo's apartment. He destroyed the bed they had laid together in so many times, he took apart the shower they had bathed together in on many occasions, he absolutely fragmented the kitchen where Lambo had fed him home-cooked meals that could have only been rivaled by the girls' cooking or Mama's.

He was in the process of tearing down one of the living room walls with his bare, bloodied hands when his mind finally caught up to his actions.

'_Why am I so angry about what that stupid cow did? He killed himself. There is nothing I could have done.' _

No, there was nothing he _would_ have done.

Last night, he could have followed his gut feeling and stopped before he had mauled Lambo's spirit into nonexistence. Yet he hadn't; he had had to add those few more comments before leaving the depressed cow alone.

Unlike the rest of Vongola, Reborn had always been aware of the cow's insecurities. Lambo had had them for as long as he had blindly followed Reborn, always trying to hide the fact that he was overly sensitive by being loud, boisterous, selfish, and pointing out other's faults instead.

He hadn't meant to take advantage of that initially. Originally, he had wanted the cow to admit that the reason he stalked him was because he loved him, not hated him. It had worked too easily and then he had had yet another lover.

'_He was different.' _Yet how? Lambo had been everything in a mate that Reborn hated. He was clingy, he was possessive, he was physically weak, he was statistically lower than him, he was a coward, a crybaby, a whiner, he had thought the world had revolved around him…

"_Hey, Reborn…" Lambo sat with his back to Reborn, situated between the mercenary's legs. "Do you believe in true love?"_

The damn brat. That _useless_ little shithead that he had ignored so pointedly. That _evil _devil child that had driven him mad in bed and even madder out of it.

He forced himself to breathe. There wasn't anything for him to be upset over.

Lambo's choice to take his own life had been just that – his choice.

Reborn straightened himself out.

He felt no guilt for something Lambo had done to himself.

He felt nothing.

And then he felt the world crumbling beneath his feet.

He had come to expect two constants in his life: a deranged Bianchi and a trailing Lambo.

One constant had given up on him sometime around his curse being broken and the other constant hadn't been able to handle his abuse.

"Lambo…" He growled into the empty apartment, one of the few times he had called the teen by his name. "I will find you wherever you are and kill you myself."

But not that day.

There were preparations to be made. There were people to kill.

There was something _not guilt_ to get rid of.

And there was No-good Tsuna to beat the shit out of for not being a more observant boss.

Lambo's scrawny cursive was imprinted on his mind.

_I'm sorry_.

* * *

Author's Note: … Don't ask. I have not a clue.


End file.
